12/31/2023 0 Comments Jehovah witness movie![]() Part 1: Why Should You Obey Daddy and Mommy? (Get it? Because they’re always squinting! Ah ha ha! Racism!) ![]() If the Jehovah’s Witnesses want the Internet to leave them the hell alone then they should probably stick to writing boring books with colorful covers and titles that even a Chinese exchange student would squint at. ![]() Or that the Internet has decided to create a new meme.Īs it turns out, absurd children’s videos are sort of the Internet’s thing. When your evangelical religion, that’s, by the way, absolutely f-g crazy about exposure, decides that they need to take one of their own publications down because the Internet likes it too much, you know that something might have gone terribly, horribly wrong. I’ll try to post it below anyway, just in the slim chance that the Witness war machine hasn’t succeeded in eliminating every current video on the web with their Reich. Unfortunately for you and me, to watch this travesty you might have to look it up on YouTube yourself you see, as it turns out, the Jehovah’s Witness leadership (the aforementioned hypothetically Bath Salted-out old men) might have caught on to just how ridiculous this video is, because they’re now doing everything in their power to pull all of the posted videos of it off of the Internet before it goes viral. Well, well, well, my deliciously curious reader(s), the answer can only truly be gleaned by actually watching this horror of Computer Science play out in front of your own two eyes. So now that this disaster of CGI and religious fundamentalism has come together for the whole world to see, you might ask, “How terrible is it?”. One of these things is probably more likely than the other. The existence of this video is only possible because either A) it turns out that the Jehovah’s Witnesses were right after all, and now Satan is channeling his evil, future-prediction powers to me, or B) that the Jehovah’s Witnesses are just so profoundly stupid that they accidentally did something that my subconscious thought would be hilarious. ![]() Yep, it’s safe to assume that I’m not on good terms with these assholes anymore.Īnyway, I had one of the best moments of my life a few weeks ago when I discovered that my subconscious had somehow predicted the production of exactly what I had imagined: a spectacularly retarded Jehovah’s Witness animated children’s film, centering around stupid Jehovah’s Witness dogma and culminating in an unintentional exposé on exactly how the Witnesses indoctrinate their children. The only dream that could have been more satisfying would be one where the Jehovah’s Witness Clergy are tripping out on Bath Salts and eating each other’s faces to the tune of Yakity Sax, while comically slipping on over-sized banana peels-oh, and every time one of the clergy’s eyes get eaten, giant confetti guns shoot and dildos, pre-rubbed with only the lubiest KY Jelly, fall from the ceiling, confusing the already delirious and hungry old men. Put simply, this dream was on the exact opposite end of the spectrum from one of those “naked in public” dreams. Today’s QOTD Question of the Day Reveal | Waking Dreams! ![]()
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